Monday, October 19, 2009
Planning a Second Wedding - What's Appropriate?
With more than 50 percent of today's marriages involving a bride or groom who have been married before, social attitudes regarding what's appropriate in the wedding ceremony have evolved over the years.
Attitudes have changed a lot over the years and the word "remarriage" is rarely used today. In the past, couples quietly stated that they were going to remarry. Today, the couple happily announces their intentions to marry without the prefix of "re," indicating that they are going into the union with an attitude of making this union its own being rather than a repeat event.
Second weddings (or even third weddings, for that matter) now range from quiet ceremonies in a chapel or courtroom to celebrations with as much pomp as many first-time weddings.
However, some feel it's necessary to hold on to at least a few traditions and customs. Etiquette, after all, still exists and rare is the wedding that goes off without a hitch. Knowing how to handle any dilemmas that might pop up is wise for all brides.
Second-time couples are usually older and wiser than their first-time counterparts. More of the ceremony, reception and honeymoon decisions will be theirs, since they are often paying for everything, rather than those decisions lying with family members who are footing the bill.
Sophistication is often the name of the game with today's remarrying couples. Along with becoming older and wiser, the couple has a better idea of who they are, both individually and as a couple. Let that confidence show in the tasteful, classic choices that you make rather than being swayed by ultra-trendy (or even downright tacky) choices made by younger couples. As an example, an older bride knows her body and has a sense of style.
Most second weddings are less formal than a first wedding, but that doesn't mean they are less lovely. While a large, hoop skirt with long train and seven bridesmaids reeks of first-time, fairytale bride, an encore bride might take advantage of her confidence by wearing something that announces her sophistication and maturity. One attendant is more appropriate than your entire pack of sorority sisters, as well.
The guest list for an encore ceremony can still include all of your extended family and everyone you've ever met. However, most couples prefer to scale things down a bit and concentrate on inviting those who would be considered the most important people in your lives.
Children from your previous marriages, of course, will attend this wedding. If they're old enough to stand up for you as a legal witness, and if that's what you desire, by all means go ahead with this plan. If your children are too young to be witnesses, there's no reason for them to sit in the audience and watch. They can still stand up with you, as bridesmaids and groomsmen, junior bridesmaids or groomsmen, or they can stand with you for a special ceremony to bless your new family unit.
Will you be given away at your second wedding? Some say this tradition would be awkward since the one who would need to give the bride to her new spouse, at this point, would be her former spouse. However, there is a school of thought that frowns up on this theory since it would imply the antiquated view that the woman bounced from being under the wing of her father, to her first husband, and now to her second husband. With women being more independent these days and making their own way in the world, it's her choice whether she'll be given away. March down the aisle on your own, have your father or step-father accompany you, or have your oldest child walk you down the aisle.
Labels: wedding planning
Wednesday, October 14, 2009
Creating a Wedding Guest List
Before you choose a wedding dress or decide on a venue for your big day, there is one very important task that you must get started on as soon as possible.
Creating a
wedding guest list can save you a LOT of time and money as you plan your wedding.
A lot of the wedding planning cannot be started until you've decided on a wedding guest list. For example - a decision on your ceremony and reception venue, catering, ordering of invitations, table decorations and more are dependent on the length of your guest list.
You should try to get started on that wedding guest list as soon as the diamond goes on your finger, and refer to it often during your wedding planning over the following months.
Start with a mini file box full of index cards or create a spreadsheet. Either way, you’ll be set to stay organized as you receive RSVPs and gifts. You can keep track of the guests' names, address, phone number, email address, and number of guests for that address. As they RSVP, everything you need to know will be at your fingertips.
Ready to begin your guest list? It's easy as A-B-C! An A-B-C list, that is.
The A list is family, the B list is long-term friends of five years or more, and the C list is people you'd like to invite if your budget allows.
As you get along in the planning and it looks like you can only afford 75, cut it at the B list and leave it at that. Move on. Or, as you receive regrets from people on your A and B lists, begin sending invitations to those at the top of your C list. If you've planned ahead and mailed your A and B invitations early enough, your C list invitations will arrive in mailboxes with time to spare - and your C list people won't even realize they were on the C list at all.
How many guests do you anticipate from your side of the family vs. your fiance and his family? Start out on your road toward marital bliss by deciding early on how you'll divide the invitations. Should your family send out half and his family the other half? Or maybe you'll divide the stack of invitations into fourths, keeping a portion for yourself and giving the rest to your fiance, your parents, and his parents.
How many guests should you expect? Each invitation usually represents two people. However, that doesn't mean 200 invitations will yield a crowd of 400. Most brides end up with fewer guests than originally expected. There will always be a few guests who send an RSVP but don't attend for whatever reason.
Will children be welcome at your wedding, or had you hoped for an adults-only affair? The best time to make this decision is while honing your guest list - not when your distant cousin with screaming triplets shows up at the ceremony.
The best way to let guests know whether kids are invited is by writing on the invitation's inner envelope only the names of those who are invited. Instead of "John, Mary and family," write "John and Mary." Whatever you do, don't state, "No children, please" on the invitation or the envelope.
Feeling pressured to invite your entire company? Invite immediate co-workers and those you interact with each day. Others will understand.
So get started on that wedding guest list now and remember to invite those who will be honoured to attend your wedding and will consider it a compliment to be part of your day.
Labels: wedding planning
Sunday, June 7, 2009
What does a Wedding Planner do?
What does a Wedding Planner do?
Essentially a wedding planner plans all of the details for a couple's wedding and they take the majority of the work and worry away from the bride and the groom.
Planning a wedding is no small feat especially if you have a large number of guests so hiring a wedding planner can make the difference between a perfect wedding and a wedding with lots of hickups or perhaps even bigger problems.
Wedding planners have a lot of experience in choosing a venue for the event, hiring entertainment, sorting out the catering, helping to choose the flowers, decorations, invitations and dress and much more.
When you are choosing a wedding planner it is very important that you choose someone who has a personality that reflects your own. This is a long process and you will be working closely together for several months. Having a personality conflict in the mix doesn't work. You want someone who is easy to get along with and very competent.
During your initial meeting with the wedding planner it's important to get a game plan in motion fairly quickly. This means sitting down and outlining your expectations for the wedding. They will want to know every detail including the colour scheme you have in mind, how many people you’d like to invite, what sort of theme (if any) you would like to have, where you'd most like the event to take place, what sort of food you want and more.
When you have a wedding planner working for you it's important to keep the lines of communication open. You will be talking to each other a lot - potentially everyday. If a problem does develop you need to address it immediately and the wedding planner will tend to it for you. It is important to remember that the wedding planner is working for you.
Hopefully this will help to answer your question of
what does a wedding planner do and let you decide whether or not you want to hire someone to help you plan your day or take care of all the details.
Labels: wedding planning
Friday, August 29, 2008
Deciding Who to Invite to your Wedding
Deciding who to invite to your wedding can be one of the most stressful parts of planning your big day. Due to constraints such as your budget and the size of the venue as it is not always easy to decide who is coming to your wedding.
It is not always practical to invite everybody you know to your wedding but at the same time you may worry about offending people by not inviting them.
The reality of the matter is there is always going to be a limited number of people that you can invite to your big day and they hould be your friends and family that are closest to you.
Remember that this is your day and you want to celebrate it with those people whom you care about the most and who you want be there to share this special occasion.
When you look back on your wedding in the years to come it is nice to think that the people who you wanted to be there were there for you.
Throughout your life people come and go but those who are special to you at the time of your wedding are the ones that you need to consider adding to your invitation list.
The best way to start is by writing a comprehensive list of everybody who you would consider inviting to your wedding. If your parents are helping you to pay for the wedding you should also check with them to see if there is anyone that they would like to invite.
Once this has been done you should think about the cost of having those people and start reducing the list accordingly until you have your final decision that you feel happiest with. Sometimes you may be able to have day guests and evening guests and invite the people that you know the best and feel the closest to during the day and the others at night.
Whatever you decide, the most important thing is that you and your fiancee are happy with the final outcome.
Labels: wedding invites, wedding planning
Wednesday, July 23, 2008
Planning A Wedding On Short Notice
There are many reasons a couple can wind up planning a wedding on short notice. Some couples decide that they simply want to get married and who wants to wait a long time? Others may have changed their mind about wedding planning and this type of wedding may be their "Plan B." Or this could be a second marriage or a civil ceremony where the wedding planned is going to be a small occasion. Fortunately, no matter your reason: you can always have a beautiful wedding day you'll remember forever.
Get Organized - The most important thing to keep in mind to planning your wedding on short notice is to get (and stay) organized. Have everything about your wedding in one handy binder and know exactly where that binder is at all times. Keep all charges for the wedding on one credit card if at all possible. Save all of your receipts from the wedding. Write everything down that pertains to the wedding. This will save you a lot of time and stress.
Be Flexible - When you are planning a wedding on short notice, you admittedly have to be a bit flexible about some details that other brides might be more stubborn about. Things like your location, types of flowers and the type of wedding dress you wear. Typical wedding dress alterations can take a minimum of six months. If your wedding is being planned in six weeks, you are definitely buying a dress off the rack and having it altered only once. The location for your wedding may not be exactly what you desire -- but it can certainly have many of the key elements that you want. Make a list of the qualities that you want (for a dress, location, flowers, etc.) and think about what is the most important. This will help you really make up your mind when it comes to making a selection.
Stick to Your Budget - Some brides and grooms are very tempted to go off budget, and this is very much the case with a wedding planned on short notice. Some vendors may complain about the short notice and will press rush fees on you. Others may simply hint that you aren't the typical couple. Remember that these vendors are providing you with a service and that if someone presses you too hard for extra coin and you feel it is unfair, you always have the option to walk away. But be reasonable: if you are asking someone to create a custom-designed wedding cake with two weeks notice, it might not be inappropriate to ask for a rush fee.
Ask for Help - What is that old saying: two heads are better than one? Well many more heads can often be better still when planning a wedding on short notice! Try to delegate some of your wedding planning to your family and friends. Don't overload your loved ones with lots to do, give them tasks that are clearly outlined and don't stress the small stuff: if your mother-in-law orders peach napkins instead of pale pink no one is really going to notice. Think of tasks that would suit the people you are giving them to. If your dad is an excellent negotiator, then putting him in charge of finding the reception hall could be a great choice. Or asking your mom to be in charge of the bridesmaids' logistics for the day of the wedding. Remember to say "thank you" and -- even better -- get everyone a nice little gift from your honeymoon trip to express your gratitude.
------------------------
Are you planning your dream wedding or do you know someone who is? Visit http://www.weddingringsandthings.net for practical tips for the bride and groom, accessories, gift ideas and more for all your wedding needs.
Labels: wedding planning
