Wedding Planning Blog

Monday, November 23, 2009

How to Write Your Own Wedding Vows

Writing wedding vows may be the most difficult part of your wedding planning, or you may find it comes naturally, but most people want a few pointers to be sure that they cover everything.

Writing your own personal wedding vows can be a wonderful way to relate your wedding to your own personalities and your life as a couple. If you are wondering how to write wedding vows of your own, the first rule it to make sure they are sincere and reflect your beliefs and your feelings for each other. These tips will help you get started.

1. Do Some Research. You can look on the internet, read books, get ideas from other weddings or even movies. You may also want to look at the traditional wedding services of your families' faiths, even if you are not planning a religious wedding. You may be surprised how little of the traditional ceremony is about religion, and how much of it applies to your hopes and intentions for your life together.

2. Decide on Individual or joint vows. The question here is whether you both repeat the same vow, or each have your own. You need to discuss this between you. It is not just a question of what each of you wants to say, but whether you want to create one vow out of everything that the two of you hold dear. If you decide on one joint vow, it is important to be sure it reflects what both of you feel. Often, one person does most of the writing. If that is you, be sure that your fiance contributes at least one sentence. Remember, all the rest of the party is just a secondary celebration of these vows. You need your partner to be fully involved in this most important part of your wedding.

3. Create a Draft of the vows. By now you should have plenty to say, and all you need to do is put it in order.

- Start with your partner's first name. If you want to use an endearment, use that as well, but it is important psychologically for both the listener and the speaker that your names are used. So you could begin "David", or "My dearest David", or "David, my love". If your fiance is usually known by a nickname, ask whether you should use their nickname or their full name. You may have to rehearse to discover which touches them most deeply.

- Make your vows as precise as possible. Remember that vows are promises to each other: what you will do for each other and as a couple. Traditionally these include a promise to stay together for the rest of your lives, to support each other materially, financially and emotionally, to bring up any children together, to be faithful, etc. What does marriage mean to you? You can include references to how you feel about each other of course, but if you want to tell the story of how you met and fell in love, that is better done in a speech at the wedding party.

4. Discuss your vows with the officiant. You should have his permission, as he has responsibility for conducting your marriage. It will also help him understand you as a couple and how you feel about your wedding.

5. Rehearse your Vows. You can do this separately and together. Even if you are not going to speak the same vows as each other, it is a good idea to compare notes so that each of you knows what the other will say, and ensure that your vows are approximately the same length. Practice speaking your vows until you almost have them memorized but write them on a card to take along to the wedding. Even words that you know perfectly well can be forgotten or mixed up under the pressure of a ceremony.

These pointers should make you feel more comfortable and confident about writing wedding vows.

Labels: wedding vows

Monday, October 19, 2009

Planning a Second Wedding - What's Appropriate?

With more than 50 percent of today's marriages involving a bride or groom who have been married before, social attitudes regarding what's appropriate in the wedding ceremony have evolved over the years.

Attitudes have changed a lot over the years and the word "remarriage" is rarely used today. In the past, couples quietly stated that they were going to remarry. Today, the couple happily announces their intentions to marry without the prefix of "re," indicating that they are going into the union with an attitude of making this union its own being rather than a repeat event.

Second weddings (or even third weddings, for that matter) now range from quiet ceremonies in a chapel or courtroom to celebrations with as much pomp as many first-time weddings.

However, some feel it's necessary to hold on to at least a few traditions and customs. Etiquette, after all, still exists and rare is the wedding that goes off without a hitch. Knowing how to handle any dilemmas that might pop up is wise for all brides.

Second-time couples are usually older and wiser than their first-time counterparts. More of the ceremony, reception and honeymoon decisions will be theirs, since they are often paying for everything, rather than those decisions lying with family members who are footing the bill.

Sophistication is often the name of the game with today's remarrying couples. Along with becoming older and wiser, the couple has a better idea of who they are, both individually and as a couple. Let that confidence show in the tasteful, classic choices that you make rather than being swayed by ultra-trendy (or even downright tacky) choices made by younger couples. As an example, an older bride knows her body and has a sense of style.

Most second weddings are less formal than a first wedding, but that doesn't mean they are less lovely. While a large, hoop skirt with long train and seven bridesmaids reeks of first-time, fairytale bride, an encore bride might take advantage of her confidence by wearing something that announces her sophistication and maturity. One attendant is more appropriate than your entire pack of sorority sisters, as well.

The guest list for an encore ceremony can still include all of your extended family and everyone you've ever met. However, most couples prefer to scale things down a bit and concentrate on inviting those who would be considered the most important people in your lives.

Children from your previous marriages, of course, will attend this wedding. If they're old enough to stand up for you as a legal witness, and if that's what you desire, by all means go ahead with this plan. If your children are too young to be witnesses, there's no reason for them to sit in the audience and watch. They can still stand up with you, as bridesmaids and groomsmen, junior bridesmaids or groomsmen, or they can stand with you for a special ceremony to bless your new family unit.

Will you be given away at your second wedding? Some say this tradition would be awkward since the one who would need to give the bride to her new spouse, at this point, would be her former spouse. However, there is a school of thought that frowns up on this theory since it would imply the antiquated view that the woman bounced from being under the wing of her father, to her first husband, and now to her second husband. With women being more independent these days and making their own way in the world, it's her choice whether she'll be given away. March down the aisle on your own, have your father or step-father accompany you, or have your oldest child walk you down the aisle.

Labels: wedding planning

Wednesday, October 14, 2009

Creating a Wedding Guest List

Before you choose a wedding dress or decide on a venue for your big day, there is one very important task that you must get started on as soon as possible.

Creating a wedding guest list can save you a LOT of time and money as you plan your wedding.

A lot of the wedding planning cannot be started until you've decided on a wedding guest list. For example - a decision on your ceremony and reception venue, catering, ordering of invitations, table decorations and more are dependent on the length of your guest list.

You should try to get started on that wedding guest list as soon as the diamond goes on your finger, and refer to it often during your wedding planning over the following months.

Start with a mini file box full of index cards or create a spreadsheet. Either way, you’ll be set to stay organized as you receive RSVPs and gifts. You can keep track of the guests' names, address, phone number, email address, and number of guests for that address. As they RSVP, everything you need to know will be at your fingertips.

Ready to begin your guest list? It's easy as A-B-C! An A-B-C list, that is.

The A list is family, the B list is long-term friends of five years or more, and the C list is people you'd like to invite if your budget allows.

As you get along in the planning and it looks like you can only afford 75, cut it at the B list and leave it at that. Move on. Or, as you receive regrets from people on your A and B lists, begin sending invitations to those at the top of your C list. If you've planned ahead and mailed your A and B invitations early enough, your C list invitations will arrive in mailboxes with time to spare - and your C list people won't even realize they were on the C list at all.

How many guests do you anticipate from your side of the family vs. your fiance and his family? Start out on your road toward marital bliss by deciding early on how you'll divide the invitations. Should your family send out half and his family the other half? Or maybe you'll divide the stack of invitations into fourths, keeping a portion for yourself and giving the rest to your fiance, your parents, and his parents.

How many guests should you expect? Each invitation usually represents two people. However, that doesn't mean 200 invitations will yield a crowd of 400. Most brides end up with fewer guests than originally expected. There will always be a few guests who send an RSVP but don't attend for whatever reason.

Will children be welcome at your wedding, or had you hoped for an adults-only affair? The best time to make this decision is while honing your guest list - not when your distant cousin with screaming triplets shows up at the ceremony.

The best way to let guests know whether kids are invited is by writing on the invitation's inner envelope only the names of those who are invited. Instead of "John, Mary and family," write "John and Mary." Whatever you do, don't state, "No children, please" on the invitation or the envelope.

Feeling pressured to invite your entire company? Invite immediate co-workers and those you interact with each day. Others will understand.

So get started on that wedding guest list now and remember to invite those who will be honoured to attend your wedding and will consider it a compliment to be part of your day.

Labels: wedding planning

Sunday, August 30, 2009

How to Save the Top Tier of Your Wedding Cake for your First Anniversary

If you are planning your wedding you are probably finding it hard to think beyond the honeymoon, let alone a year later!

One romantic tradition that has been very popular for many years – saving the top tier of the wedding cake to enjoy on your first anniversary.

If you follow this check list step-by-step, you will be able to enjoy the top tier of your cake on your wedding anniversary. It will remain fresh and tasty for you to celebrate one year later.

1. At the end of the reception remove any ornaments, such as a cake topper or flowers, from the top layer of the wedding cake.

2. To keep any odd flavors from seeping into the cake while it is in the freezer, make sure the layer is set on a plastic plate or a cake board wrapped in foil.

3. Next, firm up the icing by placing the layer in the freezer for anywhere from 30 minutes to a couple of hours. Do not wrap the cake with plastic wrap at this stage of freezing, or you will end up with plastic wrap frozen to the cake.

4. Remove the cake from the freezer. Using plastic wrap, cover the cake completely. In order to avoid freezer burn, make sure it is airtight and that there are no bubbles of air between the cake and the plastic wrap. Make sure that you cover the cake three or four times, checking for air bubbles as you go.

5. Cover the cake in tin foil.

6. As an extra precaution, at this point you might want to slide the cake into a large zip-lock freezer bag, remove all air and seal it.

7. Place the wrapped cake in a small bakery box to protect it from other items in the freezer. You can easily find cake boxes at bakeries or arts and crafts stores that sell cake decorating equipment.

8. Place the box deep within a non-defrosting freezer where it will remain for the year. If the freezer self-defrosts, your cake will be ruined.

Remember to begin the freezing process as soon as possible following the reception. You’ll have much better results – and a fresher cake on your anniversary – if the wedding cake is frozen while it is still as fresh as possible.

Unfortunately, if your cake has a crème filling, freezing it is not recommended.

One day before your one-year anniversary all you need to do is:

1. Begin defrosting the cake by moving it from the freezer to the refrigerator.

2. After two or three hours in the refrigerator, unwrap the cake and allow it to continue defrosting in the refrigerator.

3. Two hours before you plan to serve the cake, take it out of the refrigerator and allow it to come to room temperature.

Finally enjoy your cake while reminiscing about your wedding day and your first year of marriage!

Labels: wedding cakes

Wednesday, August 26, 2009

Wedding Day Emergency Kit

As much as we would like our wedding to go without a hitch, it pays to be ready for anything!

Whether you are a bride or a bridesmaid, consider putting together a wedding day emergency kit. It will save time because no one will need to make a last-minute trip from the church to a store, and it will definitely relieve stress to know that these handy items are within reach.

Start out small, picking up a few things from the list here and there while you're out, and it won't seem so overwhelming (or as expensive). But, rest assured, all of these suggestions will eventually be used since they are common, everyday items.

Here are a few ideas for things to put into your wedding day emergency kit?

* clear nail polish (to repair a manicure or run in pantyhose) * instant stain remover (such as a Tide pen) * safety pins * nail file or emery board * miniature sewing kit
* Insect repellent (for outdoor weddings or receptions - be sure to test its scent prior to the event so you don't end up smelling like the great outdoors)
* fabric tape
* scissors
* mints
* tampons and pads
* pain killers
* dental floss
* tweezers
* comb/brush
* hair spray
* hair pins/bobby pins
* antacid
* crackers (in case someone forgets to eat)
* batteries (in case digital cameras run out of juice)
* ink pen (for when it's time to sign the marriage license)
* a list of phone numbers for all of your wedding vendors and your attendants
* contact lens solution

Another handy item to have on hand (but it won't fit in the emergency kit) would be a barstool
without a back or sides. Once you've dressed the bride, she's bound to want to sit down before
the ceremony begins, but if she sits in a regular chair, she'll risk wrinkling.

Make sure that someone keeps the emergency kit handy throughout the day. The worst possible thing would be for someone to suddenly need something in the kit and then realise you didn't bring it into the church with you as the bridesmaids are getting ready, and have to send someone to dig through your car to find it.

Labels: wedding day tips

Sunday, July 19, 2009

Wedding Day Nerves - How to Keep the Bride Calm

Wedding Day Nerves are very common and quite normal, but here are a few suggestions to help ensure that the bride is calm on the big day!

Tip #1 - Be Organised Early

Make sure that you have everything ready at least one week in advance of the wedding day. Create an exact schedule of the day's events including what time wedding party members should arrive at the church or ceremony venue, a practice session applying your new makeup shades, an emergency kit with essentials (needle, thread, pantyhose, makeup, aspirin, tampons, contact lens solution, telephone numbers to reach all of your wedding vendors). Don't wait until the last minute to get anything waxed, plucked, tanned, permed or straightened!

Tip #2 Don't Micro Manage

Brides spend so much time planning the perfect wedding day that they often have trouble relaxing and letting go when it finally arrives. You've dreamed of this day for years, so enjoy it. Don't micromanage every detail. Trusting a wedding coordinator to handle the fine details can help the day run as smoothly as possible. They're more affordable than you might think, especially when you consider the time they'll save and the stress they'll prevent. If a pro is out of your budget, ask a friend or relative to act as coordinator. It needs to be someone other than the bride's mother so she can enjoy the day, as well.

Tip #3 Remember to Delegate

Delegate! Bridesmaids aren't just for decoration! Make them earn that poufy dress. Traditionally, it's the chief bridesmaid's job to act as the bride's right arm so she should make sure the bride gets a good night's sleep the night before, drinks lots of water all day so she doesn't dehydrate, and help the bride get her wedding dress on.

Tip #4 Expect a Few Mishaps on the Day

The day wouldn't be complete without one or two little mishaps. What if your flower girl's little sister trots behind her, diligently picking up petals as fast as they fall? What if the best man drops your carats, sending guests hunting beneath pews? Or you both get the giggles? Enjoy it! Remind yourself these are the moments that will bring smiles to your grandkids' faces someday, when they ask to hear the fairy tale story of your wedding day.

If you follow these tips you may be able to help to prevent wedding day nerves and enjoy your big day all the more.

Labels: wedding day tips

Tuesday, July 14, 2009

Wedding Receiving Line Etiquette

If you are planning your wedding you may be wondering whether or not to have a receiving line during your wedding. Read on to find out more about what happens during this tradition and learn a bit more about wedding receiving line etiquette.

A long time ago the wedding party would surround the bride and groom to ward off evil spirits as guests wished them well. These days, the wedding party – along with the parents of the bride and groom – gather into a receiving line as a way for the wedding party to show the wedding guests that they appreciate you attending the wedding and are happy to see them.

What is the most common way to form a receiving line?

Usually after the wedding ceremony you and your new husband or wife will walk down the aisle with your bridesmaids, best man and parents following, then everyone else will follow and takes their place in the foyer or outside, if weather permits. Sometimes the wedding receiving line will happen straight away and sometimes it will happen after some photographs have been taken and immediately prior to the wedding reception or wedding breakfast.

A receiving line is normally formed with the bride and groom in the middle and parents on either side. Place the groom's parents next to the groom, and the bride's parents next to the bride. Next, position the best man on the groom’s side, and the bridesmaids on the bride's side.

A lot of couples decide to skip this tradition because it can take a long time and often seems very formal.

An alternative to the traditional receiving line, would be for the bride and groom do the job of the ushers and dismiss guests from the church. The couple turns to face the congregation and marches down the aisle following the ceremony, taking a moment with their parents once they are ushered out, and then the couple returns to the front of the church. As each row of guests is dismissed from their pew, the newlyweds greet them. Begin with the front row on the bride's side of the church, and then alternate back and forth until you reach the last pews.

What should you say to your guests in the wedding receiving line?

“Hello” is a great way to get started. Be sure to thank you guests for coming and introduce them to your spouse or your parents if they do not know them.

How much time should you estimate for spending in the wedding receiving line?

As long as you keep the greetings short and sweet, you should budget around 30 minutes for 100 guests.

Whether you choose to follow traditional wedding receiving line etiquette or not, it is more important to take the time to acknowledge each guest and thank them for coming and give them a chance to feel like they were an important part of your wedding day.

Labels: wedding receiving line